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4. How to be whole.
Actionable thoughts on integrating your rational self with your emotional self into one whole.
You and your emotions are a useful duality to split accross.
Separating along your head and heart, rational and feeling.
It's one way in which the metaphor of becoming whole, as described below, holds meaning. If you've traditionally been one to suppress or discard emotion, generally in favor of being someone a bit more "level-headed”, you may find that it resonates a bit more.
And thus, ironically, it resonates universally, as most people do tend to be this way.
Emotions can be tempestuous and it's not uncommon to lean away after a particularly stormy episode involving them. The act of bringing them back into the fold is what i call…
In an ideal world - I, as the whole - respect and honor my emotions. I feel them, express them, act on them and at times pay dearly for doing so. All of this without regret or resentment towards them. It is a winding path to go down, but when done willingly, gives life and living simplicity.
Each emotion has a seat at the table, no matter how traditionally unpleasant.
Fear has a voice.
Hope has a voice.
Anger has a voice.
Wisdom has a voice.
They will always be a part of me, and i will acknowledge their presence. Inability to be intimate with any one means, I'm not ready to be whole.
Conversely, the ability to do so means i am. This is where - I, as a whole - trust myself.
I - the rational - trust I - the emotional - to speak the truth.
And in turn I - the emotional - trust I - the rational - to act on them appropriately.
There is no trust without honoring and giving each part their due.
At times, the emotional, forces the rational to step aside through pure will
Other times, the rational shuts the emotional down without a word.
My emotions cannot bear to hear opposition to something they feel so strongly and my rationality is too exhausted to deal with my emotions’ lack of reason.
I am not whole, i am two.
Okay, but how do i build this trust, and become whole ?
It all comes down to acts of surrender by each part.
Essentially, giving way to the others will, at the expense of exerting control.
When I - rational - notice that I - emotional - am passionate about a certain act.
I - rational - willingly acknowledge that passion, put judgement aside and act on emotion, even if I suspect acting according to it may turn out to be undesireable.
If it fails, I - emotional - learn humility, I - whole - hone intuition.
And If it doesn't, I - rational - learn humility, I - whole - hone intuition.
And overtime as i build stronger intuition as a whole, rationality will draw on it to act, at times against the wishes of emotion. And depending on the outcome, again, one will learn humility, and i, as a whole, will deepen intuition.
My emotional self now has an ally, instead of a gatekeeper and a stronger Intuition to draw ideas from.
And my rational self, has a guide, instead of an annoyance and a stronger Intuition to draw judgement from.
This builds a whole, capable of astounding resilience.
It is more than symbioses or mere cooperation, this is an integration of my two selves.
It involves time. Cycles of heartbreak and redemption, failures and success. Over and over and over again. It involves moments where I feel lost, moments without faith, moment without hope and then moments with them all in abundance.
And through this, I uncover my soul.
A soul that feels happiness and sorrow with abandon.
A soul that acts, breathes, thinks and believes with abandon.
A soul brighter than supernovae and darker than singularities.
A complete and integrated whole.
I am whole, I am one.
If i’m unable to understand the simplicity of life with integration. I rely solely on rationality to go through life, completely ignoring or discarding my other half. And as I go down this path, my other half rots away or revolts. And neither are a pretty sight.
So why not be whole.